Friendship – Bond of Trust

This being the friendship week, I could not miss writing something on it. And here comes my small understanding of this big word.

One cannot choose his or her family but one can definitely choose friends, having great friends is a blessing. Choose your friends wisely; take time in making someone your best friend. Friend is a person who inspires us, who listens to us and is available when we need him or her. We know him more than any other in the whole world and when we are down or when we are shattered, we know to count on the friend for the ultimate guidance and knowledge. Friend can lift our spirits up and encourage us to continue with our efforts. A true friend will always stand by our side and he or she will help us out. And once friends it is like an asset for a lifetime. Not everyone is blessed with good friends.

Starting a friendship is very easy but keeping it for a lifetime requires a lot of work with this beautiful relationship. That shall only be possible if there is complete trust and faith in our friend. True friendship is all about care and trust. Friends are life no two views about it. There are many bonding that exist in the world, yet friendship is the most pleasant relationship.

Friendship is a bond of innocent feelings. For friendship to remain healthy, fresh, beautiful and cherish able, it needs to grow every day. This does not mean that you start planning for friendship holidays right away. But just like any other relationship, one really needs a fair amount of time to keep friendship vital. One has to work on this bond to flourish, it shall not happen automatically.

Wait! Never impose friendship, also think whether the other person finds your company pleasurable. If there is a positive wavelength between both, then of course it is a lifetime bond. Another enemy of friendship is possessiveness, it hinders the healthy growth of friendship. Never demand your friend to share all their personal issues with you.

When we wish to possess we don’t treat the person as human being but like an object, as if he or she is a personal property or belonging, and we wish to make that object become a part of our physical self, but because it is not possible to do this physically, then one does this by exercising a sense of physical right over that object or that person. The more we lack within, the more we wish to possess of our external. It is interesting to learn about areas of possessiveness. What do you wish to possess the most of and most often? That is the area of emptiness within that we wish to fill by its external manifestation. If one is empty of self-love? Then he is possessive in all his ‘love’ relationships. If one is ‘poor’ within? Then he clings on to all things material. Are you desperately seeking to run away from your own hole of ignorance and true self-knowledge? Then you possessively cling on to books and other such sources of external knowledge. Are you possessive of friends? Then, is it not that you have never found a friend in yourself? Be aware that good friendship is not about owning your friend. This is most likely the most frequently encountered problem. The things that can really damage friendship are jealousy and over-protectiveness. Get rid of these feelings - if you have them - or soon your friendship will have a sad ending.

Of course, in some cases you will need to end the friendship because the friendship had already been damaged beyond repair. To avoid such a stage in a relationship follow simple steps.

The first relationship has to be with one’s own self. We must have a very clear relationship with our self, knowing why we feel the way we do, why we think in a particular way and so on. The first step is to be aware of our own self. Then only we can have good relationship with anyone else in life, friendship or any other.

Second important thing is we should be very clear on our WHY? Why do we want a relationship? Is it for happiness, for security? If that is so, the best source of what we call happiness and security is the Divine. So establish a relationship with the Divine. What is Divinity? Divinity is present everywhere, also in those we consider close to us. And having a close relationship with our own psyche can give us everything we need, first when we are complete with our self then only we can have a good friendship with another person.

In daily life, how do we find divinity in our friend, spouse or companion, for instance? Be sincere and faithful. The key is to give without expectation. These things are possible if our understanding is healthy, if our consciousness is full of light and brightness. Fill the self with happiness first then give it your friends and have a blessed relationship for rest of your life. Enjoy friendship today and everyday of your life.

Once we have learned to be friends with our self and enjoy with other good friends, we can find a good friend in every relationship and make it really beautiful. Friend in mother, father, siblings, spouse, daughter, son, colleagues, boss, neighbor; imagine how wonderful the life shall be. Happy Friendship with all.