Help Yourself

If one has grown up as an adult, looking back all the time for all small issues of life, for help from outside, then one has just grown old as an adult and not at all rich in experience and maturity to solve the issues of life with self- help. So much of help lies inside us- which goes totally unnoticed. Each individual has the potential and capacity to solve all the challenges which life throws at them, but every time we have to look inwards for help, there is a deep embedded knowledge, power and strength already there. But as a child we should be exposed to our this faculty, otherwise it remains dormant, but still if one takes a decision to use it at any age one has to just go ahead. Mind is like a library, full of wisdom on all layers.

We are so full of self noise inside and outside, that this wisdom gets buried beneath all this noise. If we consciously decide to stay quiet, silent, talk less, talk softly, slowly and sweetly; when we talk loud we get disconnected with the natural rhythm of this universe. Beyond this noise lot of wisdom awaits, which shall flow from our own soul, in the form of self help required for any present situation.

Soul manifests through body, it carries lot of knowledge, if we are able to quiet our own mind, creating stillness and silence inside, then we can clearly hear to the soul. Soul can help us experience blissfulness amidst any kind of confusion. But first we have to create bliss inside; we shall then attract or draw bliss from all worldly pleasures. A miserable person will attract misery from every where.

There is short inspiring story of 4- Wives, which I had read as a child in a book, I would like to share it here:

There was a rich merchant who had 4 wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to delicacies. He took great care of her and gave her nothing but the best. He also loved the 3rd wife very much. He was very proud of her and always wanted to show off her to his friends. However, the merchant was always in great fear that she might run away with some other men. He too, loved his 2nd wife. She was a very considerate person, always patient and in fact, merchant's confidante. When ever merchant faced any problem, he always turned to his 2nd wife and she would always help him out and tide him through difficult times. Merchant's 1st wife was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and business as well as taking care of the household. However, the merchant did not love the first wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.


One day, the merchant fell ill. Before long, he knew that he was going to die soon. He thought of his luxurious life and told himself, "Now I have 4 wives with me. But when I die, I'll be alone. How lonely I'll be!" Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I loved you most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No way!" replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word. The answer cut like a sharp knife right into the merchant's heart. The sad merchant then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you so much for all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No!" replied the 3rd wife. "Life is so good over here! I'm going to remarry when you die!" The merchant's heart sank and turned cold.


He then asked the 2nd wife, "I always turned to you for help and you've always helped me out. Now I need your help again. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?" "I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!" replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only send you to your grave." The answer came like a bolt of thunder and the merchant was devastated. Then a voice called out: "I'll leave with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go." The merchant looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, almost like she suffered from malnutrition. Greatly grieved, the merchant said, "I should have taken much better care of you while I could have!"


Actually, we all have 4 wives in our lives:
a. The 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it'll leave us when we die.
b. Our 3rd wife? - Our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, they all go to others.
c. The 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how close they had been there for us when we're alive, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.
d. The 1st wife is in fact our soul, often neglected in our pursuit of material, wealth and sensual pleasure.
Guess what? It is actually the only thing that follows us wherever we go. Perhaps it's a good idea to cultivate and strengthen it now rather than to wait until we're on our deathbed to lament. Let us help our self right now cultivating a soulful life.

Soul has three faculties which it has to use- mind, intellect and values/ belief system. But with most of us these three faculties get so dominating, that instead of soul running and managing them, they are on their own and soul sits in when corner neglected under the clutter of our mind. If the soul is in a blissful condition, pure, peaceful and calm, it shall get the right guidance from God. We should know our role. We are like a student and God is like a teacher/ guide/ power. He can teach us, guide us, give us strength but we have to perform in the exam our self, we can prepare with His help for the exam but we have to appear in the exam our self. So learn to take help from Him and prepare your soul, but appear in exams with your own help.

If the soul is in the right condition, it shall use the mind, intellect and belief system righteously to generate the right thought, from right thought comes the right feeling, from right feeling comes the right attitude, from right attitude comes the right words/ actions, they form our habit, then personality and it constitutes our Destiny. So we can create our right Destiny from just one right thought. Help yourself to generate this right thought.

Transformation is just one thought away, not years of work. It is really worth it. By just changing ourselves, we can actually make a big difference to make the world a better place.

Freedom

It is once again 15th August, and time to remember that we are free. So let us check how much our freedom meter is this year in 2011 after officially 64 years of independence. What exactly I mean is how much free we are today? Freedom means that I can easily fly through my day and flying shall be easier if I am mentally light weight. And light weight is possible if I am free. Free from the hurt of past, free from the fear of future, free from anger, jealousy and proud.

When we talk about detachment in spirituality and be free, it is actually to be detached from these vices, for our actual freedom we have to get rid of these vices, which chain us up and direct our life in a limited direction. While man is born free and in this world he is here to enjoy all the freedom. And here, it is no outsider who can chain us, as we bound our self in to our self inflicted pain. The chains of bad habits/ vices are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken!!

We like victimization, in order to avoid personal responsibility. Otherwise we have to work on our self and change our earlier belief system and thought cycle. So we give our self the permission to stay in that pain, in that state of fear, anger and other vices. And when we get emotionally addicted to this pain, we are used to this as a stimulant, we feel good with this hurt as a part of life. Even when no body actually hurts us, we go ahead and find such people; we invite them and choose their actions to be perceived as hurt. Accept people and reject pain.

So this 15th August, let us LET GO our deep rooted attachments, attachments to hurt, fear of losing, insecurity, holding tight. If something belongs to you, it belongs to you, don’t hold it inside, otherwise tightness develops and only pain will result. Actually by nature we are a light, free, peaceful soul and nothing belongs to soul, when we were born what did we bring with us, which we are calling ours today. Similarly when we die what we can take with us? It is only our soul which was with us and which shall be there, so let go rest of everything and feel free today to enjoy what ever is here right now in the present with us.

When ever we are holding on to something, a person, place, possession etc, we have turned very mean and greedy because we are bothered about what will happen to me, if you will go? It is all about me and not about you. But little do we realize that detachment brings us even closer to people, as now the soul gets connected to the soul. Practice this art of let go and then we are actually FREE.

This independence day let us take a pledge together to be free from all past hurt, future fear, free from anger, greed, jealousy and proud. Forgiving but remembering the people and the situations of the past. Once our slate is clean, it is ready to create a beautiful present and future of our choice. Happy Independence Day.

Embrace Life

Whatever comes in the way of life, to accept it, embrace it flow with it, rather than resisting it and wasting our energy. This is the way to progress. Life is like a hurdle race, in which hurdles shall come in the way, as they are the part of the race; we cannot stand, wait or resist the hurdles, rather we have to move across them.

Whenever there is a new hurdle on our way, we should embrace it, it has come to teach us how to jump, and there is a new lesson to be learnt. It has come to increase my tolerance and acceptance power. Hurdles are not in the way, they are in the head and the moment we create a new perception towards them, we can easily overcome it with success.

Welcome the resistance itself play with it, give in to it while remaining alert to the ways of redirecting the energy. This requires ego resiliency, the ability to respond flexibly and persistently to challenges.

If we resist and do not accept, it invites struggle. It works against us, the situation or the person gets even difficult to deal with. Struggle strengthens resistance. Let the situation or the person be hard, let me get softer, by accepting it or him/her. Like flowing water, when the stones come in its way, due to its softer nature, it crosses around it and moves ahead. Similarly this person or situation is not difficult, it is just a different situation or a different person to deal with.

By embracing resistance we are actually utilizing it. Resistance should be openly accepted, in fact graciously accepted, since it is a vitally important part of communication and often can be used as an opening into new realm of possibilities, if the energy of an opponent’s attack is not resisted or rejected, rather is welcomed as an opportunity to restore the disturbed harmony which resistance represents. The attacker’s energy is accepted with flexibility and without struggle, and redirected away from the point of attack. The attacker can find nothing to push back or resist against. To challenge resistance with rigid rejection only limits the range of potential responses and strengthens the other person's resistance. To welcome resistance with flexibility invites cooperation that can’t be resisted. Understanding and releasing resistance can create ease and efficiency where struggle and impediment exist.

Let us take an example how differently people working on the same job profile make meaning of their work. Some see what they do for a living as just a job, others view it as a career and the rest think of it as a calling. People who see their job as a calling work more hours, miss less work and report higher life satisfaction than others doing similar work. While working in the same organization, it raises the question, “How can people doing the same work, sitting next to each other in the same organization, think so differently about their jobs?” Those who see their job as a calling, talk about it in glowing terms, like what they do and describe it as needing a lot of skill. Those who see their job as just a job, on the other hand, see their work as being simple and involving no skills. This shows that people are themselves responsible to actively shape the meaning of their life's experiences.

For embracing life fully it has five components to the best of my understanding:

1. Find the meaning in life in living of each moment.
2. Passionate commitment to a way of life, to one’s purpose and one’s relationships, is the highest form of expression of one’s humanity.
3. We have freedom of choice and responsibility for our choices.
4. Openness to experience allows for the greatest possible expansion of personal expression.
5. In the ever-present face of death itself, we find the deepest commitment to life itself. (The threat of death may be seen as “a dark, unsettling presence at the rim of consciousness” or everyday awareness of death may provide the motivation to live life more immediately.)

The extent to which we are experiencing life is the extent to which we are being fully alive. When we fail to experience, by denying awareness or avoiding opportunities, we waste our potential.” Embracing of life is being fully alive, and resistance to life is any self-sabotage that denies and thwarts our potential.
The individual remains locked in resistance until he experiences them both, owns them both, and indeed embraces the totality of himself with compassionate self-acceptance. One is energy of attraction and openness to life and growth. The other is energy of withdrawal, disintegration, and resistance to life and growth.

One’s reaction is often to flee the dreaded reality by creating an inauthentic life with self-sabotaging neurotic anxiety, defenses, resistance, repression, addictions, distractions and dissociation.

At the time of conception, the spirit has the choice of fear or faith, is it a passionate and committed leap of faith from spirit into earthly life, or avoidant, ambivalent or controlling? Similarly at the time of birth, leaving behind the security and predictability of the womb again requires a monumentally trusting leap of faith. The fetus willingly surrenders itself to the unknown force that will carry it to a new infinitely expanded world. Of course, again, it can also be done unconsciously, in fear or pain or rage. The difference between these choices sets in motion influences of vast proportions on the lifespan to follow. Similarly the choice whether we are embracing or resisting a situation would set in motion the energy which shall flow with that choice.

The moment we embrace, a new power is generated inside us, to take care of that situation, then why do we want to resist, after all each and every scene in this drama is for our ultimate good and benefit, let us accept it as it is with faith and hope, putting in our best actions.