Grow A Backbone

Having a backbone means to speak our mind, take risks, stand up for our self and others, be trusted, and taking a position and holding on to it. Most people think they have a backbone as physically we all do, but mentally where is it? Having a backbone mentally means to have control of our environment, one is more hopeful, empowered, enthusiastic and in turn it makes it easier to take on any type of challenges.

Do you feel as if everyone is taking advantage of your good nature? Feel disrespected and want to be able to stand for your ground without guilt or fear. If friends, family and colleagues see you as the person who’s always available to help them out or pick up the extra stuff, they’ll continue to ask favors because as far as they’re aware, you always say ‘yes’, so you must be happy to do it. And when the resentment builds up to the point where you lash out at the next person to ask you for something, they’ll be genuinely shocked. You need to realize it’s not just people taking advantage of you – you’re allowing them to, by always saying yes. Is it a fear of rejection or conflict that’s holding you back from standing up for yourself, this you only need to check? But no matter what the reason is that you always say ‘yes’, you’re actually doing the other person involved (as well as yourself) a disservice.

For many it is hard to stand up for what he believes in and get others to do the same. Most take the back seat while the "man in charge" delivers orders. Now it's our time to shine, our time to grow one. Stop living a spineless miserable life of a shy, under confident person, that is tired of his life and its unexpected outcomes. Now is the time to take charge and grow the spine. Start speaking the mind, losing the fear of opposition, and going to stop going with the majority. Follow these simple steps to begin growing a backbone and living a healthier life.

Stop apologizing. Many of us use the term "I'm sorry" far too frequently and often at inappropriate times. Think about when you use those two simple words. Is it a situation that you truly should be sorry for?

To develop a backbone, voice your opinion and be proud of what you have to say; people will take notice and listen. Speak up. Tell those around what you need. Assertiveness requires good communication skills. Be clear and firm with what you desire. Practice standing up for yourself by conveying your wants and desires to others. Simply communicate that you have thoughts, opinions and needs, too. Once you begin to express these better, the people around you will learn how to appreciate and respect you more, too.

The most important component of growing a backbone is being Competent. Competence means being self sufficient. You don't need anybody to take care of yourself. You can take care of your own necessities of life. Don’t always look for another shoulder to carry your load. Age does not bring self sufficiency; it is to be cultivated on daily basis. On one side there are even kids who are self sufficient, and on the other side there are adults who look for answers to their challenges outside, depending upon others.

Don’t grow a wishbone where a back bone ought to be. ~ Clementine Padford ~

Least do we realize but we spent a lifetime wishing for everything. Wishing had a newer car, a better place to live, more money, better clothes, a better body, a loving spouse, to have lots of friends, to be successful….. wished and wished. How many times a day we wish for things in our life, no idea but it sure is a lot. By just wishing and no action one feels small, no presence, rather handicapped, feeling not smart enough to survive on his own..… having no backbone. How can one possibly stand up without a backbone? Take responsibility for your own life, rather than waiting for someone else to come around and fix it for you. Instead of looking to the horizon for a knight in shining armor, need to roll up the shirtsleeves and get to work figuring out what needed to be done.

Wishbones help us know who we really are and what our dreams and aspirations are. Backbones give us the courage and resolve to make those dreams a reality. Let’s celebrate how we can use them together to fully enjoy a creative and productive life.

Our attitude is everything and impacts how other people perceive us, right through to the signals we're unconsciously sending out. Our attitude sets the tone of our voice, the quality of our thoughts, and is reflected in our facial expressions and body language.

In this modernized world, women serve as a pillars of strength—bearing the weight of so many responsibilities. From motherhood to corporate life to volunteer hours, today’s woman does it all. The days of wishing for a better tomorrow have disappeared. Today, we are empowered to make choices– to take the helm and control our path- growing our backbone.