Personal Leadership

Personal leadership represents the leadership that is beyond the ego. Ego based leadership is about power for control, prestige and personal reward; the kind we normally come up against! On the other hand Personal Leadership is about focusing on the needs and aspirations of ALL. Broadly speaking in personal leadership I will examine my knowledge of myself. How am I leading myself, before I want to lead others, whether in the family or at work or in the society?

The quality of our personal leadership beliefs will dictate how we will feel and behave. Personal leadership is leading from the inside – out. It is choosing to live from our own values, essence and sense of meaning – rather than the byproduct of life happening to us. As we change, and then become the role model for change – our environment changes as a byproduct. Old outdated behaviors like having the need to change/ control someone falls away and we become more allowing of those around us.

Successful Leaders know their Personal Leadership Philosophy and communicate it by living it passionately everyday in all they say and do. They have taken the time to determine who they are, their values and priorities. They know their course and have set their internal compass, which gives them greater self knowledge, greater self confidence, and improved effectiveness as a leader. They know how to create level and balance between work and home. Balance between physical, emotional, and intellectual needs. Not neglecting one at the expense of the others.

We all want to control the behavior of others, and thus call the outcome as leadership. How much is that a true leadership? A true leader is the one who knows to control his own behavior, let us examine how the individual’s behavior is controlled.

We all have five gross senses (eyes, ears, nostrils, tongue and skin), and we also have five acting senses (hands, legs, voice, genitals, and anus), and three subtle senses (mind, intelligence, and ego). Everything that we know and perceive is nothing but the products of the inexhaustible permutations and combination of the forms taken in through these thirteen senses. In this way our situation and behavior is carved by our perception of surroundings through these senses.

Without doubt, MIND is the most unsteady and difficult to control, the senses are the greatest source of distraction for mind. Mind is the leader and these ten senses are its employees/assistants. Mind has to control and give instructions to his assistants as a leader, and not the other way round. So next time you feel your junior assistant trying to influence and control you, first check is your mind under the influence of its assistants/ senses?? Mind is influenced by intelligence and ego, the other two subtle senses, intelligence is of-course budhi / wisdom which is positive but ego comes through stored unconscious habits of the past which is dangerous and need to be controlled.

Mind can be controlled through practice and dispassion (renunciation). To control our own mind we need to delink from the unnecessary negative thoughts from past, present and other sources on one side and on the other side we need to link the mind with God in order to get the right thoughts, to do any task or assess any situation.

One should through gradual practice attain tranquility by fixing the MIND on God, with reason controlled by steadfastness and without thinking of anything else. The application of de-linking process is based on the fact that at one moment when the MIND is engaged at one particular spot it is not linked with the other spot at the same moment. Thus if one trains oneself to disengage the MIND from the world outside it will by its own nature get directed towards the centre (the Atman). Let us look at it in another way. Our scriptures are full of description that the world is nothing, but an illusion or maayaa or dream. It has existence but is unreal. In fact, it is a creation of MIND. The same challenge is assessed and created differently by different minds, so at the end of the day it is all our mind’s creation.

If through subtle art of meditation one is able to consciously quiet the MIND, one realizes the falsehood of experience, like in dream it seems all so real but we realize it as unreal only after getting up from sleep. The reality of the Supreme presence of all pervading Paramaatman/ God becomes glorified once the false-existence of world, created by MIND is negated. Thus through the DELINKING PROCESS one can get linked with Paramatman/ God, which in fact is the REALITY and only due to ignorance one is slave of the senses and the MIND. There is need to become their master and in order to so the TAMING OF MIND, through abhyaas/ practice is to be followed by the DELINKING PROCESS. Once we have control over our own mind, we can easily get the desired results from our team members achieving effective leadership.

For personal leadership one can pray, study, listen, meditate and reflect as a regular practice, but setting aside an extended period of time for a more intensive encounter alone with God provides an incredibly rich grounding for leadership. Consistently making Him a part of our day to day activity, talking to Him and taking His guidance even on all petty issues. Keeping the following checks on a regular basis:

1. An integrity check – are we living out our stated values? Are our intentions and motivations honorable? Are we walking the talk?
2. An obedience check – are we doing what God has asked us to do? Following God’s laws and trusting His leadership? Confessing, repenting and forgiving?
3. A word check – are we able to perceive God’s truth and work it out in our own life? Can we discern God’s guidance for us personally? Being able to discern God’s guidance is a prerequisite to leading God’s people.

Those who don’t have their senses under control would have a difficult time living in the wilderness. According to Vedic philosophy, we living entities have been placed in this material world and given suitable bodies in order to fulfill our desire for sense enjoyment. Sense gratification is achieved by attempting to satisfy the aforementioned senses. However through experience, we learn that the senses actually never get satisfied. We are always hankering after something that we want, or lamenting after something that we don’t have. This cycle repeats over and over again, and through our desires and actions, we keep receiving new bodies after giving up our current ones at the time of death. True spiritual advancement only comes when we are able to subdue our senses. Connecting our minds with the Supreme Lord. By concentrating all of our activities on God, and always thinking about Him, we gradually become immune to the desires of our senses. It doesn’t require one to give up any of his activities, but simply relate them with God.

Once our internal compass is directionally oriented towards God, we shall lead in the right direction first our self and then people around us.

Grow A Backbone

Having a backbone means to speak our mind, take risks, stand up for our self and others, be trusted, and taking a position and holding on to it. Most people think they have a backbone as physically we all do, but mentally where is it? Having a backbone mentally means to have control of our environment, one is more hopeful, empowered, enthusiastic and in turn it makes it easier to take on any type of challenges.

Do you feel as if everyone is taking advantage of your good nature? Feel disrespected and want to be able to stand for your ground without guilt or fear. If friends, family and colleagues see you as the person who’s always available to help them out or pick up the extra stuff, they’ll continue to ask favors because as far as they’re aware, you always say ‘yes’, so you must be happy to do it. And when the resentment builds up to the point where you lash out at the next person to ask you for something, they’ll be genuinely shocked. You need to realize it’s not just people taking advantage of you – you’re allowing them to, by always saying yes. Is it a fear of rejection or conflict that’s holding you back from standing up for yourself, this you only need to check? But no matter what the reason is that you always say ‘yes’, you’re actually doing the other person involved (as well as yourself) a disservice.

For many it is hard to stand up for what he believes in and get others to do the same. Most take the back seat while the "man in charge" delivers orders. Now it's our time to shine, our time to grow one. Stop living a spineless miserable life of a shy, under confident person, that is tired of his life and its unexpected outcomes. Now is the time to take charge and grow the spine. Start speaking the mind, losing the fear of opposition, and going to stop going with the majority. Follow these simple steps to begin growing a backbone and living a healthier life.

Stop apologizing. Many of us use the term "I'm sorry" far too frequently and often at inappropriate times. Think about when you use those two simple words. Is it a situation that you truly should be sorry for?

To develop a backbone, voice your opinion and be proud of what you have to say; people will take notice and listen. Speak up. Tell those around what you need. Assertiveness requires good communication skills. Be clear and firm with what you desire. Practice standing up for yourself by conveying your wants and desires to others. Simply communicate that you have thoughts, opinions and needs, too. Once you begin to express these better, the people around you will learn how to appreciate and respect you more, too.

The most important component of growing a backbone is being Competent. Competence means being self sufficient. You don't need anybody to take care of yourself. You can take care of your own necessities of life. Don’t always look for another shoulder to carry your load. Age does not bring self sufficiency; it is to be cultivated on daily basis. On one side there are even kids who are self sufficient, and on the other side there are adults who look for answers to their challenges outside, depending upon others.

Don’t grow a wishbone where a back bone ought to be. ~ Clementine Padford ~

Least do we realize but we spent a lifetime wishing for everything. Wishing had a newer car, a better place to live, more money, better clothes, a better body, a loving spouse, to have lots of friends, to be successful….. wished and wished. How many times a day we wish for things in our life, no idea but it sure is a lot. By just wishing and no action one feels small, no presence, rather handicapped, feeling not smart enough to survive on his own..… having no backbone. How can one possibly stand up without a backbone? Take responsibility for your own life, rather than waiting for someone else to come around and fix it for you. Instead of looking to the horizon for a knight in shining armor, need to roll up the shirtsleeves and get to work figuring out what needed to be done.

Wishbones help us know who we really are and what our dreams and aspirations are. Backbones give us the courage and resolve to make those dreams a reality. Let’s celebrate how we can use them together to fully enjoy a creative and productive life.

Our attitude is everything and impacts how other people perceive us, right through to the signals we're unconsciously sending out. Our attitude sets the tone of our voice, the quality of our thoughts, and is reflected in our facial expressions and body language.

In this modernized world, women serve as a pillars of strength—bearing the weight of so many responsibilities. From motherhood to corporate life to volunteer hours, today’s woman does it all. The days of wishing for a better tomorrow have disappeared. Today, we are empowered to make choices– to take the helm and control our path- growing our backbone.

Renew This New Year

With 2010 coming to an end, and 2011 at its dawn, imagine waking up this New Year morning and being the person you'd love to be and having the life you'd love to have! Creating a passionate life that is aligned with passion is the secret to a life filled with joy and fulfillment. How to change from a passionless, old mundane life to a life overflowing with passion; begins with self-reflection of our life as it is today. Whatever the reason, at some point, the time comes to reinvent our self. It may come about as a natural growth and evolution, or it may be a choice to catapult our self into a new life and a new self.

Having a passion for what we do in life overflows into all aspects of our life. We have the energy to contribute to our relationships and family. We have interesting hobbies which we love. Friends and family find us ‘fun’ to be with and life feels enjoyable, exciting, and adventurous. It improves our health. We remain young at any age.

The skill of consistent reinvention is something that anyone can learn. What works at one time in our life may be inappropriate at another time. What the world needs from us at one time may be different from the next.

Why not throw off old habits and customs and embrace new ones! Reinventing our self is never easy, as we shall be going against patterns that have been established for years. However, with determination, effort and patience; doing so is possible and the rewards will surely be positive and unexpected. Dreams do turn true, but only if we are willing to make the needed efforts. Reinvent yourself and discover ways to bring new meaning and joy to your life.

Create a new personality. Throw and flush out old behaviors, mindsets, reactions and words. With a new day, be a new creature. Make use of new words, speed up the walk, smile more, have new reactions to different things. View the world with a new eye and different vision.

Mind is the key in the process of reinventing our self and so we need to make sure that we use it in the right way. More often than not, the reason for our disappointments and failures in life is because we've programmed our subconscious mind to sabotage our best efforts!

Unintentionally we program our subconscious mind negatively by the things we regularly do, say and think. We can be our own worst enemies. Sometimes even when we think we are saying something positive, we're in fact saying something negative! But we have the power and capability to change and resolve it. We hold our self back due to self-limiting thoughts and beliefs. We process thousands of thoughts each and every minute, and we are not aware of it. When we take the time throughout the day to be aware of our thoughts, we could make a powerful mindset shift that will significantly change our lives!

There are many external influences that affect our thoughts, and identifying, limiting, and/or removing those influences is another way to re-shape our thoughts. We fall into a habitual way of thinking and once habits are created, it takes acknowledgment and commitment to shift it and change it. When we replace old habits with new behaviors, life takes on new purpose, new focus, new momentum, and our desires become reality!

Enjoy reinventing yourself and may the journey bring you much joy and lasting happiness. Just like the Phoenix rising from the ashes, you can create a whole new you.

Everything in life requires time and commitment. First of all we must adapt a mindset of renewal.
Renew is to repeat so as to reaffirm; revive; to replenish; to bring into being again, reestablish; to start over. It’s not the obstacles or challenges we face that keep us from succeeding. It’s our inability or unwillingness to learn from those things that allow us to be defeated.

Resilience is the ability to recover quickly from illness, change, or misfortune.
Reinvention is a never ending process. It’s the daily, on-going pursuit of personal growth and fulfillment – a path that ultimately leads to more rewards and greater responsibilities.

The final thought I will leave you with involves taking action. You can read and think all day every day, but it is by taking action, inspired action, that you will be able to reach a level of success greater that you ever would have imagined. This New Year let us take a pledge to be committed and focused to make sincere and honest efforts to renew ourselves.

Don’t predict the future create it. And you deserve the best!!!

Conditioning To Success

People create their own good or bad luck by their own thoughts. Conditioning to success is nothing else but conditioning our thoughts to success. We have to stop creating our own failure, we have to stop being afraid of success. One of the greatest facts in this world is that when a man changes and really changes in the God- centered way, everything changes for good. Here I am referring to just the change of thought from negative to positive if you want success, otherwise vice verse option is always there.

Our conditioning controls us, and thus, the actions, results and consequences of our life. You are where you are today as a result of your conditioning. It controls our emotions, feelings, actions and decisions. It is OUR central programming. We should really understand our “conditioning?” And, why is it so important?

First, let me assure that the state of conditioning is absolutely critical to the state of our life and it is the most important factor – out of the many factors and elements – in whether or not we will achieve the life that we Desire. No matter how much or what one study’s, or what actions one takes (or fail to take), if the conditioning is “faulty,” one shall not achieve the Desired Results. Indeed, the Law of Attraction – as well as the other Universal Laws – is absolutely useless if one has, and engages in, faulty conditioning.

Conditioning – Regardless of the kind and regardless to what extent we are actively involved as to the nature, level and extent of the content – takes place all day long, each day. We continue to condition ourselves, whether we know it or not, whether we like it or not.

And, the worst part about it is that 99% of the input data is NOT TRUE. Yes, that’s right – it’s NOT TRUE! We make it up, assign meaning to it, and then live by it. Nothing is really “true” unless we say it is!

There are two kinds of people tough minded and tender minded. Tender minded are the one’s who under obstacles and difficulties are influenced by criticism and lose heart easily. They whine and fail. While tough minded are the people from all walks of life, who have a strong element of toughness built into them, with the help of Almighty God. They have the inner power to stand up to any difficulty; they have what it takes to take it. All their actions indicate as if it is impossible to fail. Help from Him is necessary.

First step to conditioning of success is to never give up- never give in; stand up to it- fight it through with the aid from the God thus becoming a strong person, well able to bear the weight of life most successfully.

Conditioning to success is to condition yourself on day to day jobs, by conditioning and reconditioning the thoughts, and creating thoughts of success, good and winning. The thought is the ancestor of the deed, if the mind is conditioned with the thoughts of success; the deeds of success naturally tend to follow. But notice that an important ingredient of this pattern is to ask for God’s help.

Clearly define what success means to you. And if that is in harmony with God’s desire for you than you shall receive it. But if your defined success is just superficial wealth or material success than it might not be in harmony with His plan. Because His desire is to give us real riches, successful in all aspects economic, social, spiritual, intellectual, and physical. Don’t underestimate the good things that God wants for us and shall give us, if and only if we shall learn to receive.

The quality of our life is the quality of the questions we ask our self every day. The questions should be designed in such a way to cause an experience of more happiness, excitement, pride, gratitude, joy, commitment, and love every day in all aspects of life. That is how day to day conditioning for success can be worked out. On the other side if you are asking yourself how can I be successful? Pay attention to mental block or doubt you encounter on a daily basis. We all experience these feelings. How many times have you allowed these thoughts or feelings to consume you and affect your productivity? If negative thoughts in your sub-conscious control your conscious feelings than how can you succeed.

If we want to succeed in anything in this world we need to do the things that make the difference to whether we succeed or not because there are no in-between measures for the winners. The biggest obstacle we face in reaching our goals is ourselves. The understanding and controlling of our mental conditioning is critical to our success.

One can do and achieve any amount of success, if first you can believe that you can. Believing opens the channels of creative and dynamic good. It sets power flowing in even the most difficult circumstances. In the worst moment of defeat look for victory. Think Big, pray Big, Believe Big, Act Big and you shall become Big.

Accept Challenges

Challenges and struggle are part and parcel of life. We need to learn how to overcome challenges and struggle in order to move forward in life. They actually help to strengthen and make us stronger. A person who has never struggled or overcome challenges is a person who isn’t moving forward in life.

Many years ago me and my brother were playing in our garden and there we came across a cocoon, we found it really interesting as the caterpillar was struggling inside to come out, we brought it with us in the courtyard, my mom saw us and told us that in a short while a beautiful butterfly will come out of this cocoon, but let it struggle and come out on its own, we should not help it come out.

Mom left saying this inside. Both of us were waiting anxiously, we could see the butterfly struggling hard to get out of the cocoon. Meanwhile my brother took pity and decided to go against the advice of mom by assisting the butterfly out of the cocoon. He could not bear to see the butterfly struggle and decided to break the cocoon.

Shortly after-wards we were shocked to see that the butterfly’s wings became crippled because of our kind efforts. It crawled for a while and then died. We were really sad as we could never see it flying. It was only later when mom came and explained us that the poor creature had to go through that painful process. The butterfly needed to struggle out of the cocoon so it could emerge whole and capable of flight. She told us that by helping the butterfly, we have actually killed it because the butterfly needed to struggle to help develop and strengthen its wings. Without going through the process, the butterfly will die.

Although later I read this as a story, which is very simple but it brings across a powerful message. Human beings are the same, we all need to struggle and overcome our challenges in life. We will become stronger every time we overcome our challenges. So if you encounter a challenge in your life right now, don’t run away from it, face your challenge and develop yourself through the process. This story describes challenges and struggles are part and parcel of life…You can only have abundant life if you develop strength and courage through struggle and challenges! If AN EGG IS BROKEN BY AN OUTSIDE FORCE...A LIFE ENDS. IF AN EGG BREAKS FROM WITHIN.......LIFE BEGINS. GREAT THINGS ALWAYS BEGIN FROM WITHIN.

So when the life throws a next challenge, let us first welcome it, embrace it, and then work on our self, transforming internally. With every challenge overcome, in the process we have to get BETTER and not BITTER. How is a question?

Surprisingly, all life challenges are initiated by the Soul. Though it can appear that our problems come from other people, society and circumstances, in fact, they arise to support our personal growth in consciousness.

Every challenge is something – usually an energy or a quality – trying to become a part of our consciousness. Because we are not yet familiar with this energy, we have to learn what it is and how to incorporate it into our life. When it is incorporated, this produces transformation.

Our tensions, wounds and fears are both our greatest blocks and our greatest catalysts for developing personality and developing soul consciousness. Everything happens at the right time for the right reason …Pain and suffering are gateways to expanded consciousness.

Today I am addressing one such concern, which all of us face every second day in life. Dealing with Difficult People – Those Challenging Moments; It may be a family member, co-worker, or boss that causes our frustration. Personalities collide, tempers flare, and we say and do things which are not appropriate.
But one should challenge the challenge and not the people one deals with because, if I am facing a concern dealing with someone, then the real issue is with me only and not the other person and that is the approach to challenge this challenge. There are some steps we can take that will not only guard us against further stress, but help us establish a healthy attitude during those challenging moments.

Difficult people cultivate anxiety, resentment, or feelings of inadequacy. At times, a brief encounter with that disruptive individual ruins our entire day. Any long-term relationships with difficult people create tension that mounts with each passing day. Regardless of the length of the confrontation, we often find ourselves feeling miserable.

When dealing with difficult people, we must accept that we cannot control the attitude of others. Regardless of our efforts, we cannot change another person’s attitude or heart. We also become a “difficult person” at times when we judge another individual.

There is a very simple way of dealing with difficult people: “Stop judging others and you will not be judged. Treat others just like the way you want to be treated. Whatever measure you use in judging others, it will be used to measure how you are judged by them”.

Dealing with difficult people requires qualities that go against our human nature. We are all resistant to change our opinions, especially if it requires laying down our rights. But when we reflect God’s nature, His peace can transform the most difficult of relationships. When we overlook other’s faults, God looks over us. “. . . Clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Let's make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends us. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. .and accept the fact that each human being has some imperfections, accept them gracefully.

Create Opportunities

Bruce Lee said: "To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities." One man's problem is another man's opportunity, so let us create opportunities and not problems.

The truth of the matter is that opportunity is something that one has to create and possibly capture it to put it to right use. Opportunity is not something that is tangible and is 'out there' such that you need to find it. What we need to do is to learn how to carve out our own opportunities out of the station in life that we are in.

The whole fabric of human existence is based on a simple concept of correction. That is to say when something does not go the way you want then you must start taking steps to correct it. Thus if opportunity does not knock on our door, then perhaps we might just have to knock on opportunity's door.

Life is indeed a great mystery. So rather than worry about what's going to happen when we are struck by an uncertain chain of events, let’s be optimistic and create a sense of enthusiasm and energy to face the uncertainties and seek out new opportunities. And always remember whenever you experience new things or the world around is changing, there will always be lots of opportunities. One just needs to grab the right ones for him or her.

Too many people wait for opportunities to come to them. Don't. Don’t wait for the opportunities to come to you. Create the opportunity for yourself. Let me quote here a famous quote from Napoleon Hill "Every adversity comes with it a seed of equal or greater benefit." From the adversity of life there will come many benefits and opportunities. Take advantage of every one of them. When we grow our self, we grow you opportunities. Sometimes when we're accomplishing goals we get stuck. What we do. How do we find those other options, these other options are the main difference between accomplishing goals and failing.

It’s when you lose your road-map to the future that you have an opportunity to define a new path. Opportunities can come in a variety of forms, from defeat, to a simple idea, to someone suggesting something that might work. Be open! When an opportunity presents itself, do this: Step up and take it, select what you want, create your plan, put the plan into action and follow through with plenty of persistence, never taking your eye off your burning desire.

Tips to identifying and seizing opportunities:

Convert defeats or failures to success: In a failure, you can find something good and you might find the best opportunity of all. Seize it!

Exploit Change: Change always needs a leader and those that raise the issue and make the justified case for change often become the leaders for the change process. Opportunities lie in change and when you can foster and lead the process you raise your visibility. When you are successful; you raise your value.

Imagination: We can create anything we can imagine. Spend time imagining what we want and the many ways that we can create it. Use your burning desire to fuel your imagination.

Think of others: What's useful to others? What product or services would make other people's lives easier? There are so many opportunities to help others. Seize it! Be committed to serve others through your work. Regardless of what you do and your current life situation, find some way of serving others. I believe that ultimately, we all want to serve others and we want to give something back – but as we go through life, this noble desire gets lost in our day to day challenges. Your passion for your line of work will be ignited when you can connect with this deep, deep desire within you to serve and contribute

Look for it:- opportunities are all around us! Be open to the simple fact that opportunities come in all forms. A thought might come into your head or someone says something or you see something. You can find an opportunity anywhere and at anytime. Seize it!

Be part of a mastermind group: You will get many ideas for opportunities from the mastermind group. Just think, where would we be if we didn't have friends or mentors? Meet with them regularly and you will find more opportunities than you could ever imagine. Pick one, and act on it. Write the others down, in case your plan doesn't work, and use it then.

"Do not wait; the time will never be 'just right.' Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along." - Napoleon Hill.

Cultivate a childlike zeal for learning new things: Develop a childlike curiosity about the world and how things work. Do more of the things that you enjoy and bring out the child in you.

Create a great team around you: Look around for like-minded people with whom you can create something greater – people you gel with and with whom you can create synergistic relationships.

Recharge your batteries: Spend time with loved ones – have ample time with the people in your life who matter. Also spend time in nature – this could be a walk in your local park, on the beach or even in your own garden.

The single most important factor is to consistently INSPIRE yourself. Inspiration doesn’t just happen, you have to go out there and find ways to ignite your passion. Passion is important but it is worthless without discipline. There is nothing sadder than someone who is talented and even passionate about something but has no structure behind it. Follow your passion and bolster it with discipline. And opportunities shall follow you.

Self Discipline To Accomplishment

Self Discipline is a force which channelizes our inner energy and directs it in the absolute direction; helping us to do ordinary things extraordinarily well.

Self discipline has many advantages:
1. It enables us to cultivate consistency
2. Mind stays focused and it does not side tracks important matters
3. One remains composed even in adverse circumstances
4. Stay determined to complete the task successfully
5. One has full control over his/her activities

Self discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment. It is very easy to set our targets and goals, but how shall we accomplish them if we are not in discipline with ourselves. To achieve a particular target there is a definite course of action which needs to be followed and that can only happen if you have self control. As in this picture in order to achieve our Goals, we have to cross the bridge and reach the Goals, but in between the bridge there is a missing link and that red link we carry with us, it is our own self discipline.

E.g. If my target is to close 5 tenants for my shopping mall by the end of this month in 30 days time, I will have to make 50 calls in first 3 days, 5 meetings each day subsequently and then a regular follow up calls and meeting with the clients. Mind will of course give 10 reasons to avoid that first call or meeting or follow up call, as lot of refusal, objection, no’s etc. can come my way, but if I am focused at my end result, with self discipline and control, I shall not be seeing those small difficulties which come in my way. I shall make myself sweat that extra mile to accomplish my targets. Despite the rejection, I shall stretch myself to the next call with same enthusiasm.

Similarly we all know what exactly is to be done for achieving that particular target. Fat guy who need to lose 10 kgs in one month, knows exactly what is to be done each day, each hour. And we all know what it shall take to achieve his target, its only self discipline, commitment to his goal. The bottom line is either you are going to be disciplined or you shall be disappointed. Will power is actually like a muscle, the more you exercise it, the more you use and stronger you get it. Start self discipline from smaller habits – like choosing between: watching TV for hours or reading a book. Gossiping with friends or playing a sport with friends!!

Here is the key; you can't change your habits you need to replace your habits. If you have a bad habit of watching too much TV, replace it with reading and listening to motivation tapes. If you have a bad habit of eating, you can replace it with exercise or something more productive. So take a look at your habits and create an action plan to replace those habits with more productive habits. Start practicing this and you are on this path of exponential success. It is like sculpting, a little bit at a time. You'll get there.

Take Control Of Your Life

We always have a choice in life, what we want to choose. Once we choose that and move in that direction, new situations and circumstances follow. Along with the choice comes few roses and few thorns. We accept roses with welcoming hands but resist the thorns in all possible ways. We don’t accept the thorns and don’t take any responsibility for them, although these are also the outcome and byproduct of our own choice.

When we don’t accept the unwanted we start the blame game. Now this is played both externally with people around and involved. And internally in our inner dialogue, now we say, "I have to accept this as it is, I don’t have any choice."

And the moment we use this kind of conversation we lose control over the situation, we feel like a victim and we allow someone else to take charge of the situation.

But let’s be clear what being in control means, it is not related to power or authority. Close your eyes for a minute and think, what does being in control means to you. To me it means being my own navigator of my own ship, knowing exactly which direction it is going and on the way I am happy, content and enjoying the ride.

We are the creator of our journey, the writer of our story. The creator of your own thoughts, emotions, feelings and imagination. If you are the creator, you can any time regulate or moderate your situation, by taking charge of wanted and removing the unwanted. For healthy thoughts to nurture, unhealthy ones have to be removed. Ask a farmer and he knows the damage unwanted weeds can do to his agricultural yield. Similarly we should know the damage our self created unhealthy thoughts, can do to our situations and circumstances of life.

So next time you find yourself in a difficult situation, don’t ask the situation to change, ask for the strength to face the situation and rise above the situation.
There are times when we say, "someone has hurt me, I am very disturbed."

But the fact of the matter is we are choosing that someone to hurt myself. If you want to remain in control and in charge than choose the right things. With every one problem, you shall always have two choices, number one you can cry over it, number two you can laugh over it – choose to laugh over it and you can solve it better. As such we all know the great problems of yesterday are hardly of any relevance today.

Whenever you go to the market, you see lot of things, even if you have money to buy you don’t buy everything, you would always choose and bring home only what you like. Similarly in life, during a day, lot of things will happen, you can not bring back everything home. You have to choose, and choose rightly, based on your values and priorities. Making the right choice, brings in more control of your life, opens you up. We are using our mind, heart and spirit more and thus receiving more what life has to offer.