Showing posts with label confidence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label confidence. Show all posts

Friday, July 9, 2010

Accept Challenges

Challenges and struggle are part and parcel of life. We need to learn how to overcome challenges and struggle in order to move forward in life. They actually help to strengthen and make us stronger. A person who has never struggled or overcome challenges is a person who isn’t moving forward in life.

Many years ago me and my brother were playing in our garden and there we came across a cocoon, we found it really interesting as the caterpillar was struggling inside to come out, we brought it with us in the courtyard, my mom saw us and told us that in a short while a beautiful butterfly will come out of this cocoon, but let it struggle and come out on its own, we should not help it come out.

Mom left saying this inside. Both of us were waiting anxiously, we could see the butterfly struggling hard to get out of the cocoon. Meanwhile my brother took pity and decided to go against the advice of mom by assisting the butterfly out of the cocoon. He could not bear to see the butterfly struggle and decided to break the cocoon.

Shortly after-wards we were shocked to see that the butterfly’s wings became crippled because of our kind efforts. It crawled for a while and then died. We were really sad as we could never see it flying. It was only later when mom came and explained us that the poor creature had to go through that painful process. The butterfly needed to struggle out of the cocoon so it could emerge whole and capable of flight. She told us that by helping the butterfly, we have actually killed it because the butterfly needed to struggle to help develop and strengthen its wings. Without going through the process, the butterfly will die.

Although later I read this as a story, which is very simple but it brings across a powerful message. Human beings are the same, we all need to struggle and overcome our challenges in life. We will become stronger every time we overcome our challenges. So if you encounter a challenge in your life right now, don’t run away from it, face your challenge and develop yourself through the process. This story describes challenges and struggles are part and parcel of life…You can only have abundant life if you develop strength and courage through struggle and challenges! If AN EGG IS BROKEN BY AN OUTSIDE FORCE...A LIFE ENDS. IF AN EGG BREAKS FROM WITHIN.......LIFE BEGINS. GREAT THINGS ALWAYS BEGIN FROM WITHIN.

So when the life throws a next challenge, let us first welcome it, embrace it, and then work on our self, transforming internally. With every challenge overcome, in the process we have to get BETTER and not BITTER. How is a question?

Surprisingly, all life challenges are initiated by the Soul. Though it can appear that our problems come from other people, society and circumstances, in fact, they arise to support our personal growth in consciousness.

Every challenge is something – usually an energy or a quality – trying to become a part of our consciousness. Because we are not yet familiar with this energy, we have to learn what it is and how to incorporate it into our life. When it is incorporated, this produces transformation.

Our tensions, wounds and fears are both our greatest blocks and our greatest catalysts for developing personality and developing soul consciousness. Everything happens at the right time for the right reason …Pain and suffering are gateways to expanded consciousness.

Today I am addressing one such concern, which all of us face every second day in life. Dealing with Difficult People – Those Challenging Moments; It may be a family member, co-worker, or boss that causes our frustration. Personalities collide, tempers flare, and we say and do things which are not appropriate.
But one should challenge the challenge and not the people one deals with because, if I am facing a concern dealing with someone, then the real issue is with me only and not the other person and that is the approach to challenge this challenge. There are some steps we can take that will not only guard us against further stress, but help us establish a healthy attitude during those challenging moments.

Difficult people cultivate anxiety, resentment, or feelings of inadequacy. At times, a brief encounter with that disruptive individual ruins our entire day. Any long-term relationships with difficult people create tension that mounts with each passing day. Regardless of the length of the confrontation, we often find ourselves feeling miserable.

When dealing with difficult people, we must accept that we cannot control the attitude of others. Regardless of our efforts, we cannot change another person’s attitude or heart. We also become a “difficult person” at times when we judge another individual.

There is a very simple way of dealing with difficult people: “Stop judging others and you will not be judged. Treat others just like the way you want to be treated. Whatever measure you use in judging others, it will be used to measure how you are judged by them”.

Dealing with difficult people requires qualities that go against our human nature. We are all resistant to change our opinions, especially if it requires laying down our rights. But when we reflect God’s nature, His peace can transform the most difficult of relationships. When we overlook other’s faults, God looks over us. “. . . Clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Let's make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends us. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. .and accept the fact that each human being has some imperfections, accept them gracefully.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Build Self-Efficacy

Self-efficacy is the key to success outside and peace within. Self efficacy is the belief you hold about what you can and cannot make happen in your life. It does not refer to the actual skills you have, but what you believe you can accomplish with existing skills and the faith that any new skill can always be developed. It is about believing you have the ability to pull together your social, physical, thinking and behavioral skills to accomplish bigger, bolder goals than you originally thought possible. It is stretching beyond your limits and achieving a better fulfilled life.

Self-efficacy is defined as having a core belief or conviction about one's abilities, efficiency and effectiveness. Self efficacious people have the initiative, a high level of confidence, considerable amount of self esteem, think analytically, and are action oriented and persistent. They give up only after the task is accomplished.

This is normally defined as believing in one's own ability to be successful at any given task. Self-efficacy has been linked to workplace performance and specifically to overcoming the challenges which life throws at us. Logically, greater self-efficacy may either enhance ability to tolerate negative gravity, or it may increase the ability to seek positive in any given challenge. It plays a major role in how we perceive situations and how we behave in response to different situations. A person with high self-efficacy tends to set very high goals and remains motivated despite the threat of failure.

People with a strong sense of self-efficacy:

• View challenging problems as tasks to be mastered.
• Develop deeper interest in the activities in which they participate.
• Form a stronger sense of commitment to their interests and activities.
• Recover quickly from setbacks and disappointments.
• Have the "I can do it" and "I will do it" attitude.

It is this certainty that makes them self motivated and able to handle a task and overcome obstacles and challenges with little help from outside. They set goals and execute the actions required and find the resources, ideas and solutions. They make good leaders, innovators and entrepreneurs.

Get the basics right. Either you master a situation or the situation masters you.


Self-efficacy, being a situation-specific form of self-confidence, is enhanced when the perception of self is increased. Positive internal expectations lead to intrinsic motivation. There are many areas of the self that can affect self-efficacy in either positive or negative ways. A great deal of emphasis is placed on the qualities of a positive attitude which impacts levels of motivation, including positive self-expectancy, self-image, self-control, self-esteem, and self-awareness. A positive self-expectancy occurs when an individual usually gets what he or she expects. A positive self-image occurs when an imagined success becomes an actual success; in such a situation, positive self-talk has an enormous impact. Positive self-control is when an individual is capable of accepting responsibility for outcomes. Finally, a positive self-awareness breeds a sense of strength because individuals know themselves as well as where they are going. The importance of positive expectations is a quality that describes the thoughts of a champion. To summarize, positive self-expectations increase motivational levels.


The will to win is not as important as the will to prepare to win. Maintaining or improving your belief in your abilities is the first step to prepare to win. Mental toughness is vital in these challenging times. There is no doubt that people with a resilient self-efficacy and a positive outlook will emerge from the current economic downturn with greater momentum. Knowing that you can influence and shape your thoughts offers you a powerful edge. One has to develop a powerful positive visualization for any given situation or challenge.

For instance, people high in self-efficacy take better care of themselves, see tasks as something to be mastered, and they feel more empowered. They’re not controlled by circumstances. They see setbacks as challenges to be overcome and can cope with hardship better than those with low self-efficacy. They learn from failure and channel it into success. People higher in self-efficacy also have a greater sense of motivation and persistence.

Visualization is a powerful tool. Not only is seeing believing, when it comes to self-efficacy, believing is seeing…. results. Visualization not only primes your brain for success and enhances self-efficacy; it also helps you to see the smaller steps you need to take to reach your end goal. Another great way to build self-efficacy beliefs is to elicit encouragement from friends and family and to stay away from those who discourage you. Quality social support is a key ingredient to self-efficacy, persistence and ultimately success. Find your best advocates and invite them to be part of your campaign for change.